NEW YORK — What is the key to a successful relationship? Common interests? Good communication? A new survey suggests the answer might be having skills in the bedroom. A third of sexually active Americans say they’ve dumped a partner after having bad sex.
A OnePoll survey of 2,000 adults (with around 1,800 saying they are sexually active) reveals 68 percent believe having unsatisfying sex is a total deal-breaker in a relationship. The poll, commissioned by Lora DiCarlo for Sexual Health Awareness Month, also finds four in 10 respondents feel they’ve never had a true orgasm.
Faking or not faking?
While poor bedroom skills may be a deal-breaker for many, others are trying to cover up their dissatisfaction. Researchers find 17 percent of Americans are faking an orgasm during sex.
Of this group, women (18%) fake it only slightly more than men (16%). For women this number still adds up to four faked orgasms a month and nearly 40 each year.
Unfortunately for the partners of these Americans, many are completely in the dark about this. Nearly half (46%) of sexually active people believe their partner never fakes orgasms with them. Women are actually more guilty of this, with 56 percent believing their man has never faked it with them.
Help wanted in the bedroom
Although some people are faking orgasms to avoiding disappointing their partners, many respondents in the survey know they could use some help. Forty-four percent agree they don’t know how to satisfy their loved one. This includes half of male respondents and 36 percent of women.
While many want to improve their bedroom skills, the survey finds this isn’t a conversation everyone is having. Over half (53%) want to talk with their partner about improving their sex life, but don’t want to offend them.
“Sexual pleasure has been so stigmatized that it’s difficult for people to ask for the things they actually find pleasurable,” Lora DiCarlo, the founder and CEO of her namesake brand says in a statement. “Sex isn’t a one-sided event, open communication between partners leads to not only better sex, but inspires confidence and empowerment. Who doesn’t want that?”
Can toys make a big difference?
One of the solutions that may help couples is using more sex toys. Three in four respondents (74%) say they are more likely to orgasm using these devices. Of those using sex toys with their partners (about 700 respondents), three in four believe it improves their communication with a partner.
“Sex tech allows individuals the opportunity to develop a deeper understanding of their own bodies, sexual preferences and needs, which, in turn, translates to a deeper understanding of one’s self and can be used to inspire better communication between partners,” DiCarlo explains. “Empowered sex leads to great sex.”